So you’re not staying for Christmas?

Ambra Vivarelli

Lifestyle copywriter especializada en creación de contenido digital relacionado con la expatriación.

Dear expat,

As I try to do in every aspect of life, I would like to talk about not coming home for Christmas, without my heart beating out of my chest because, given my very “calm” nature, my stream of consciousness may push me to write without filters, commas and mercy.

I already know that like me, you are a medium-level expat, you have probably been living abroad for a long time and, as it is normal, you have built an environment that represents what society defines as family.

First of all, what would be the definition of family? Here you have it: “a group of people related to each other who live together”. As the philologist who I am, I should have searched the depths of the internet at what moment this definition was born, thanks to whom and why. However, I see it necessary, in order to explain how I feel about the subject, only to discuss how the word was interpreted in the past VS as it is perceived now. Above all, I would like to talk about the meaning that the term covers for us, while most conservatives would define expats “non-standard” just for be able to survive without having blood relatives next to us. 50 years ago it was unthinkable to leave your family in order to go live far away, therefore, the whole life unfolded and ended within the family circle. We lived in a world where “the family came first” and those who suffered abuse or maltreatment had to surrender daily to the impossibility of fleeing.

Toxic issues and the possibility of escape.

Many times, toxic issues arise in the family environment and despite that, it is still thought that a blood bond has to be forever.

However, people do not just walk away in the extreme cases mentioned, likewise, those who fit in perfectly with their families feel the need to discover beyond what they have been living until a certain moment. Even if, also under these circumstances it hurts, many of us still take a heavy suitcase and start over.

Why should we feel guilty for breaking a habit as if we were betraying family by not coming back for Christmas?

Why do they look at us as alienating if we say we have a return flight on December 23rd to the country where we live?

Why is it still hard to accept that you can live Christmas without going home?

In the end, we are choosing how and with whom to spend a holiday, without any imposition. Those who choose to be alone on December 24th, or groups of friends who decide to get together, probably enjoy Christmas more than many families forced to stay with people who, despite being relatives, do not share anything between them and only meet once a year.

Why should we abandon our chosen family in some circumstances just because society has instituted that whatever happens on the 25th, you have to sit down to eat with your blood family?

The benefits of the election

Let’s normalize that our choices lead us to break social rules pre-established for centuries, let’s normalize that a good dose of healthy selfishness guides us towards emotional stability, and also, let’s value the privilege of choosing a context that we like, a spirit that brings us benefits and valuable, lasting relationships.


We are the generation that undermines what has been perceived as standard until now. If we are not the ones to revolutionize old beliefs, who else should do it?


A revolutionary greeting.

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